my belly

so here's the thing. i love triathlon. it's king of a funny thing, really. i am not 'good' at them in the sense that i am normally at the back of the pack when i get to the finish line, i inevitably question my sanity at the beginning of any run section of any triathlon that i've ever done, and it takes a lot of my free time to train so that i can complete one without passing out.

but... i get immense personal satisfaction when i do complete one. when i set the goal (registering to run a triathlon is a rush in and of itself), train for months, feel the blur of excitement on race day, dip my toes in the water before the start, and then push on and push on and push on to the finish line - sometimes strong (those are the ones to remember!), sometimes thinking about how my feet feel like lead weights, but always with this overwhelming feeling of accomplishment. of completing a physical challenge, of showing myself some of what this body is capable of. it is a pure and simple joy. and i really really love it.

plus, you know, the training helps me not weigh 300 pounds.

which brings me to where i am right now. no, not 300 pounds. but i am a little bit heavier than i was a few months ago. add up christmas (i am a sucker for stuffing), a trip to canada (i overdose on all the bad food you can get in NA while i am there - an unfortunate side effect) and a training lapse (christmas busy-ness, a sore knee, and general laziness - training would have gotten in the way of my eating!), and it's amazing how fast you can put on the pounds.

oh well. january is supposed to be diet month, right???

i lost about 25 pounds about 4 years ago after being a little overweight for about 10 years before that. i finally sucked it up and just ate less - exercise was never the problem for me - i've always excercised, it was the food intake that got me. i have been good with not gaining back the weight (well, there was a little spike there when i had a baby in my belly!!!) - when i'm training for a triathlon, half-marathon, etc... and eating reasonably, the weight maintains itself.

only problem is... i haven't been training much (yeah, see above). on the one run i did do when i was in canada over christmas, my knee started hurting. my own fault really, it was a cold day and i was definately not dressed for the weather (v - you were so right - i needed another layer - or 2!!) i had a knee injury last year that seriously hampered my running and so i'm completely paranoid about injuring it again, and so i didn't run again until i got back to switzerland a couple weeks later. my knee was fine during my first run, but then started hurting during the next run and so i adjusted my running form so that my knee didn't hurt. i should know better!!!

i now have an achilles tendon injury, which means (according to my internet search self diagnosis) no weight-bearing activities. theoretically, this means no walking, but it is not injured so badly that it hurts to walk, only if i try to run. so... no running for me. i'm not sure how long but probably a few more weeks. this makes me sad. there is nothing like running for me when i need to clear my head, lighten my mood, calm my mommy nerves.

so when i can't run, it's a bit of a triple whammy for me - i don't get to train for my road races / triathlon, i don't have my go-to coping mechanism, and to top it all off, i tend to gain weight.

this is a long story to say... in order to reverse the gaining weight thing, i've been having to bite the bullet and just eat less :) never fun, but i think it will be effective.

plus... it is maybe a sign that i'm supposed to be swimming more. so, tonight i hit the pool, and it was fun. it really was fun. i did mostly drills - working on my total immersion technique so that some day when i do triathlons i will need to worry about getting kicked and jostling for position within the pack of swimmers rather than needing to worry about them closing the swim course before i finish it! v and i took a total immersion weekend course together when he was here in november, and i have not been diligent enough in putting into practice what we learned. thankfully, it seems like i still remember some of what we were taught by martina in the english ghetto (long story for another time).

plus... knitting seems to be taking on the coping mechanism role. it's also fun and challenging and lets me think or not think depending on what's needed. it will never replace running, though - knitting doesn't burn quite enough calories to allow me to eat quite as much chocolate as i'd like :)